Ponyo the Studio Cat

I’d like to introduce you to my feline companion of 13 years, Ponyo. She is named after the Japanese animated fantasy film by Hayao Miyazaki. I pronounce Ponyo like how it is sung in the movie’s theme song and also Pawn-yo, like how it is spoken in the film. I’m not really sure which way it was meant to be pronounced, but I love both ways. I knew I wanted to adopt a cat and name her Ponyo. I’d often visit our local animal shelter in search for her and I would come back home without a cat, as I did not sense a bond with any of the kittens present. One day, on a whim, I decided to return and was told that a litter of kittens, born to a stray cat, had been brought in. I picked up a very adorable kitten, but she quickly jumped out of my arms. I picked up a second kitten and placed her on my lap. She remained on my lap, turned her head to look at me and gave me the biggest meow. You know how sometimes cats meow with their whole face? It was exactly like that. My heart melted. It's true what they say, you don’t choose your pet, your pet chooses you. I observed her interacting with the other kittens when a small black kitten pounced on her belly, prompting her to hiss. That was when I knew she was the one. That’s my Ponyo. She’s cute, endearing, playful and has just the right amount of sass. It's kind of interesting that in the 13 years I've had her, that's the one and only time I've ever heard her hiss.

I know this is not a post about jewelry, but Ponyo has been part of my jewelry journey from the very beginning. For every single piece of jewelry I made, she has always been by my side in my small home studio, either resting in the corner, nestled by my feet beneath the workbench, or now… sleeping in my light box.

This month we received some heartbreaking news that Ponyo has lymphoma cancer. I feel deep guilt for not taking her to see the vet sooner. Had I done so, would we have detected her illness early, allowing her a full recovery? I guess there is no way of knowing. In a positive light, Ponyo seems to be responding well to the treatment. Although, administrating liquid medication to a cat orally can be quite… challenging, to put it mildly. She will require two types of medication every day for the remainder of her life and is expected to live for 2-3 more years. 

Honestly, I’ve been struggling to cope with the news. Throughout my life, every significant relationship I've had has come to an end, yet she has consistently remained by my side. I sense her gradually slipping away, and I'm anxious about what will happen when she’s ultimately gone.

I’m not sure the purpose of this post other than to say she is one of the reasons why I have been absent. My website hasn’t been updated, jewelry has not been made, pictures have not been taken, no new process videos in the works or new Instagram posts. It’s all become so draining for me and feels absolutely pointless. I have invested a tremendous amount of effort, emotion, and resources into Darkness in Paradise with no output. It’s incredibly disheartening at times. I aspire to return one day with a more positive perspective on life, revitalized energy, and to conquer the depression that appears to have engulfed me.

-T